Luke 6:45

A good man out of the good treasure of his heart bringeth forth that which is good; and an evil man out of the evil treasure of his heart bringeth forth that which is evil: for of the abundance of the heart his mouth speaketh.

Apr 16, 2011

What scars do you carry?

We had a women's meeting tonight at my Pastor friend's house.  It was an awesome meeting.  The subject was about scars and how God uses those scars to reflect where he has brought you from.  That was some of the message.

Night before last I had a dream about my ex-boyfriend.  The one I speak about in my testimony (if you haven't read it please do).  I wouldn't exactly describe it as a dream, more like a nightmare.  I was back at my old apartment where we used to live (he and I before my husband) and he was there waiting for me.  I was married to my husband now but some reason we were moving back to that apartment.  My husband was out running errands with a friend and my ex-boyfriend was at the house waiting to regain control of my life.  In my dream I was so angry and disgusted.  I broke a glass bottle and cut him with it!  I kept telling him that my husband would be home soon and he would kick his behind (only in my dream I swore!)

I told my sister and husband about the dream and left it at that.  I didn't know why I had a dream and that I was taken back to my old apartment, but the emotions that rose up in me, the feelings I felt I did not like.  I felt anger, resentment, fearful, and sick!  So last night I was thinking about the dream and I know that he has a facebook so I looked it up and saw that he got married.

Today God brought him to my mind again...only this time it was to tell me "you need to let him know that you forgive him for what he did!"  WHAT!!??  I was thinking do I message him?  I don't want him to know anything about me.

Then tonight when I went to the women's meeting the message was about scars and to remember where it is that God has brought you from!

So to put 2 and 2 together...God showed me that back at my apartment is where Chris and I ended our relationship.  It is where I truly called out to God to help me and HE DID!  He saved me from that horrible relationship and saved me from myself.  I have a scar on my pinkie finger where Chris had broke it and I had to have screws put in it to hold my bones together.  I have the scars as a remembrance from where Christ has brought me from and I thank him that He has given me beauty for ashes!

I thought that I had forgiven him but if God says that's what I need to do that obviously I haven't.   Please keep me in your prayers as I do this.  I know that God wouldn't have me do anything that would bring harm to me.

Keep the faith my friends




Isaiah 61:3
To appoint unto them that mourn in Zion, to give unto them beauty for ashes, the oil of joy for mourning, the garment of praise for the spirit of heaviness; that they might be called trees of righteousness, the planting of the LORD, that he might be glorified.


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